Kitchen Pans and Cookware

One of the great accomplishments of man-kind to date (IMO) is the non-stick cookware pan. Now, I can only say that, because my great - great- great- grampa was quoted in the Oregon Trail Newswire Chronicles* as saying "We'd have arrive a lot dang sooner if we didn't spend half a day cleanin the dammm pans" He was right too. What a time saver these non-stick pans are. Back in the day before VCR's I would often lament having to do dishes and scrubbing my fingers down to the nubbins** and missing the first 15 minutes of "The Bionic Man". Yep, those were sad days...

What was even more sadder*** was my dad's sense of humor. Every time my brother and I would ask for our family to get a dishwasher, he would chime in "But I already HAVE TWO dishwashers" (meaning my brother and me). Ha Ha. Yeah, it was a literal laugh a minute around there. No wonder my sense of humor has been scarred and passed down to my 3 kids.

So, back to the main story: we need pans that don't need to soak for 10 minutes, and take 15 minutes to scrub with steel wool that makes your hands cramp up and blister. I'd of had a lot more time to watch Farrah Faucet if we didn't spend half a day cleanin the dammm pans.**** Enter our hero of the story - Non-Stick Pans. Not just on the INSIDE but on the OUTSIDE as well! Pans like Rachael Ray Cookware (not Rachel Ray) and Paula Deen Cookware are a few examples. Now the key point with these new kind of pans not to cook them on high (cajun blackening cookers... sorry) but to keep them on the low - med - med high settings. Otherwise you'll release the patented bonding techniques and the carbon fiber teflonic sealcoat will separate, causing a black hole*****.

Now for those of you who may get upset that all the technology and "non-green" technology... guess what? Three words: Earth Pan Cookware. That's right - a non-stick pan that was made... eco-friendly. Here's the scoop from Earth Pan Corporate: "The foundation of all EarthPan Stainless Steel products is the exclusive eco-friendly SandFlow nonstick. This unique nonstick originates from sand and is formulated to provide excellent food release and easy cleanup. Based on industry lab tests, the SandFlow nonstick food releasing performance will outlast all other ceramic-based, eco-friendly cookware, 3 to 1." SandFlow technology. Hmmm. Sounds like something ol' G-G-Grampa may have liked.

The Oregon Trail Newswire Chronicles* also did an expose of him using sand to scrub his pans clean. So you might say he was one of the early pioneers of Earth Pan. I just wished he would have figured it out sooner. I've spent too many hours looking up lost episodes of the six-million dollar man and Charlie's Angels from all the lost time I spent scrubbing pans. In fact - to clean these pans, all you need to do is get a nice clean dobie and some dish dishwashing liquid, some hot water and in less than 30 seconds of scrubbing and hot water rinsing... A CLEAN PAN. Wow. Where were these pans 30 years ago? And you know what? Even though I can clean a pan in under a minute, I still can't stick them in the dishwasher... but I DO have tivo. So not only can I save the earth but I can save time too.

And Farrah? Well as G-G-Grampa used to say: "Ain't never been a philly worth giviing up tabacky for", which I'm sure makes sense... in some... strange way.

*doesn't exist - I made it up

** sister bear

***leave me alone grammar police

****justification for buying her poster : )

*****in a parallel universe

About the author: Jerry Dreessen is co-owner of www.kitchen-pans.com (kitchen pans and cookware) and enjoys walks on the beach, drinking micro-brews, and reminiscing about the good 'ol days.